Movie Feature

Jessica Alba's worst movies!

By Cinema OnlineMovies - 26 August 2011 10:21 AM | Updated 30 August 2011

Jessica Alba's worst movies!

It definitely raises some eyebrows when you Google Jessica Alba only to find that the very first things that pop up aren't anything to do with her movies, but more of her body and how hot she looks.

Alba is the only woman who has made the Maxim Magazine Hot 100 list in all the years it was published; from 2000 to 2011. Granted, the actress is a guaranteed sight for sore eyes, but what does it say about her acting skills? If you look at her choices of movies and her performances in each of them, they're like several different parts of the same person, and acting in the upcoming Spy Kids 4: All The Time In The World is another impending disaster.

With that being said, the only reason Sin City isn't in her 'worst movies' list, was because it was a pretty good movie, and also, the only parts of her body doing the acting were her hips.  

 

1. Fantastic Four (2005)

Jessica Alba in Fantastic Four

Fantastic Four or better known as the 'Fantastic Flop' or the 'Fantastic Bore', had incredible potential as a superhero movie with it's interesting ensemble (Chris Evans, Ioan Gruffudd, Micheal Chiklis and Julian McMahon). However, the weak plot of the movie and the credibility of the actors actually living up to the name of their respective superheroes seemed offset. Especially with a Latina Jessica Alba who portrayed the 'plastic-looking' blue-eyed platinum blonde Susan Storm.   

2. Honey (2003)

Jessica Alba in Honey

When popular singer-actress Aaliyah died, producers scrambled to find a replacement for their lead character Honey Daniels. After a bunch of casting rounds, they came across Jessica Alba instead. The movie follows a bartender/dance teacher who dreams of making it big in the entertainment scene as a backup dancer in music videos. Touted as an extremely long music video, Alba playing a dancer from the back ends of New York in Honey panned horribly with critics. Mekhi Phifer who played Honey's love interest (which genius came up with that we'll never know) looked like he really didn't want to be in the movie and his lack enthusiasm showed.

3. The Sleeping Dictionary (2003)

Jessica Alba in The Sleeping Dictionary

Jessica Alba in a period piece! Finally, could this be Alba's best role to date? Alas, no. The title actually refers to Alba's character, an Iban native (Sarawak), assigned to teach a British imperialist who comes to rule over her village how to speak the native tongue. Of course, she does this through sleeping with him. The film lacks a certain edge needed for a period piece such as this, and the movie comes off just a bit too much like an excuse to highlight Alba's looks.

 




4. Little Fockers (2010) 

In Little Fockers, Jessica Alba stars as Andi, a pharmaceutical sales rep who works with Ben Stiller's character to sell an erectile dysfunction drug. Her role in the movie was completely unnecessary and it seemed like she really tried hard to get herself noticed. Even though she was prancing around in her undergarments in the infamous cringe-worthy scene (due to her acting, not looks), the whole thing looked completely ridiculous to the point of us asking ourselves, "What was she thinking?"

 




5. The Eye (2008)

Jessica Alba stars as Sydney Wells, a pretty blind violinist whose sight is restored after a cornea transplant and quite suddenly, her blurry vision and subsequent premonitions are trying to tell her something, and no, unfortunately it's not, "get a new agent." Listening to Alba narrate at the beginning and end of the film didn't help her case, as it resembled too close to a school kid reading from a giant cue card.

 

6. Into The Blue (2005)

Jessica Alba in Into The Blue

Director John Stockwell who kept sneaking peeks at Jessica Alba's 'wedgied' butt crack got Alba to play Sam, the midriff-baring girlfriend of Paul Walker's scuba diver jock who had little to say and even less to wear. Despite some impressive underwater photography and really pretty fish, her talents in this movie version of Sport Illustrated fail her, especially with an overly cheesy script that asks Alba to deliver lines like, "I believe in you more than the prospect of any treasure."

 

7. The Love Guru (2008)

Jessica Alba in The Love Guru

Obviously not the highlight of the film, The Love Guru finds the perfect use for Alba’s modest talents, in two Bollywood-esque scenes, where we see her dance, smile and swing her head side-to-side. Allowing herself to sit on the back burner for a Mike Myers film is definitely not a way to make an impression in the Hollywood scene. It felt as though she only came in for a few days of shooting, did her scenes and bolted.

 

8. Good Luck Chuck (2008)

Jessica Alba in Good Luck Chuck

Jessica Alba, who you'd think would know better by now, plays the clumsy dream girl who makes the not-so-funny comedian Dane Cook's character want to be a better man. Good Luck Chuck didn’t' do Alba's career any favours and in no way did it offer audiences another side of her acting skills other than the usual. Good writers and directors including in this one, knew of her shortcomings and found ways to limit her acting effort, allowing her to frolic underwater (Into the Blue), dance in a strip club with a lasso (Sin City) or turn invisible (Fantastic Four).

 




9. Never Been Kissed (1999)

Jessica Alba plays a bully in the movie, but no one really cares. You're either sympathising over Drew Barrymore being called "Josie Grocie", or thinking about how dreamy Michael Vartan actually is. Possibly the movie that launched Alba into B-grade and below type of movie roles, Alba took the wrong road in her career when she decided to play one of the three mean high school bimbo group who makes life for the lovable Barrymore a living hell.

 




10. Awake (2007)

You can tell that a lot of time, thought and research has been put into this film, which tries to create a realistic setting. But it's still a movie with problems and the two biggest ones are its lacklustre stars, especially Jessica Alba who isn't much better as Hayden Christensen's love interest although there's more to the role that allows her to flex the few dramatic muscles she has. (Her other muscles show their stuff early in the movie during a bathtub scene with Christensen.)