Rating: 2.5 out of 5
If you’re going to watch one comic-book adaptation this year, make it Kick-Ass, or maybe Iron Man 2, or maybe wait for Scott Pilgrim to be released. Whatever you do, don’t waste your time with The Losers, a movie (as its title suggests) that is the bad apple in a cart of what has been a stellar year for comic-book movies.
Similarly, if you’re going to watch one film about a group of highly-skilled, wisecracking, covert military operatives clearing their name after being betrayed by their government this year, may I suggest waiting for The Expendables or The A-Team or the next interchangeable remake of an 80s television series.
This particular elite Special Forces team features colourful characters (likely named after pets) such as Clay (Jeffrey Dean Morgan), Jensen (Chris Evans), Roque (Idiris Elba), Pooch (Columbus Short) and Cougar (Óscar Jaenada).
They are fun-loving, know no fear and know how to make things blow up. We know this because the opening scene establishes that they tell each other “yo’ momma” jokes before easily killing a small army while rescuing a group of children.
The team then gets double crossed by a mysterious man within the CIA named Max (Jason Patric) who frames them for an operation gone awry in the Bolivian jungle. I’m not exactly sure why and what Max’s evil master plan is. We do know it’s evil though and that’s what matters I suppose.
Like several James Bond villains before him, Max kills civilians, employees and business partners thoughtlessly and ruthlessly, but for some reason when it comes to his the heroes of the story, the villain feels compelled to try and kill them in the most elaborately inefficient manner possible.
It all has something to do with a doomsday device that can destroy entire islands with a click of a button called the ‘sonic dematerializer’. Max wants it to start a global high-tech war. We don’t actually know why, but as I’ve mentioned, it’s evil, so it has to be stopped I guess.
Clay and company are aided in their world-saving slash revenge mission by a super-sly femme fatale named Aisha (Zoe Saldana) with her own hidden agenda. She spends the movie’s duration involved in shootouts wearing only underwear and having zero sexual sizzle with love interest Clay.
Throw in lots of explosions, choreographed fistfights, massive shootouts and vacantly unfunny banter in between and we have a B-movie with an overinflated budget folks.
The only vaguely memorable scene to look out for involves Evans’ Jensen going undercover in an office building hilariously set to the tune of Journey’s ‘Don't Stop Believin'’ (as if Glee hasn’t done enough to revive that song already).
If not for the decent performances and fast pace, this movie would have been a total flop. The Losers is barely fun but is a serviceable timewaster in a pinch.
About Hidzir Junaini
Hidzir Junaini, aka inSing.com's Movie Lover, is 23-years-old and a wealthy playboy billionaire by day and a caped crusader by night. Only one of those is true. He’s actually a freelance writer, blogger, full-time film buff and some-time socially awkward nerd. He also writes about music, restaurants and nightlife for Metrowize Asia.
Hidzir is the winner of the inaugural inSing Movie Lover contest that garnered over 1,000 participants. The Movie Lover contest is a search for a candidate who possesses outstanding passion for movies and a talent for writing engaging movie reviews.