mrbrown and the World Cup

By mrbrownMovies - 25 June 2010 5:30 PM | Updated 05 August 2010

mrbrown and the World Cup

I am in the midst of discovering that my body is no longer the late night fighting machine it used to be. I learned this from this year's World Cup.

Three matches a day was taking a toll on my poor body. I am so glad we are going into the second round soon, with just 16 teams.

It did not help that when I went to Malaysia for a short vacation with the family, I got hit by a severe gastric attack, probably from eating something funky. Fortunately it was on the last day but it meant that I had to stay in the room while the rest of the family was out doing fun things like ice skating, shopping and watching The Karate Kid (the new one in which the kid does not learn karate but kung fu).

Since I am on the topic, what is up with that movie? At least be honest and call it The Kung Fu Kid. Will The Karate Kid 2 be about a middle-aged woman who wants to learn tai-chi?

Or perhaps it's because to Western audiences, all Asian martial arts are the same, all called Karate.

Even having free World Cup in my Malaysian hotel room tv was not of any comfort. I curled up like a prawn and winced with every stomach contraction, which I swear was further triggered by the blasted vuvuzelas being blown.

I could not even get excited at the matches because the second the ball got close to the goal, the stomach juices would act up and send me into a fetal position again.

I recovered after taking the five different meds the hotel doctor gave me.
But in the days of recovery back in Singapore, I went easy on the soccer excitement, my whimpers of "Goal!" were as delicate as my battered tummy.

While my heart goes out to France and Italy for being booted out, I am happy that the South Koreans and Japanese are in the top 16. Their female fans are hotter, is my humble football opinion. The cameras will do well to focus on the Asian hotties in the stands.

I am sure the France and Italy jerseys are going to go into the discount bin soon. That is why I always wait a bit before I buy mine. A friend of mine was most upset that he spent $128 on a Spanish jersey only to see the much-vaunted Spain lose their first match. At least Spain is still in the tournament.

If I were the other teams who played North Korea, I would have exchanged jerseys with them right away. Hey, the reclusive nation is not exactly a wellspring of soccer merchandising and that PRK jersey may become a collector's item.

I think you would want a jersey from Team Kim if only to tell your friends this is the team that played valiantly against mighty Brazil (losing only 1-2) but gave Portugal 7 goals.

The other thing that amuses me is how coaches like to send in some reserve player at the last minute when the game is pretty much in the bag.

I bet that reserve player will one day tell his grandkids about his epic World Cup experience of smelling the football field for 2 whole minutes of injury time.

And USA, wow, they have certainly brought their A-game, making it into the top 16, with shaky England. I am not sure how many Americans appreciate their soccer team though (must use "soccer" here, not "football" or they may mistake the World Cup for the Super Bowl). Most Americans may feel that the Portugal haul of 7 goals is a little on the low side.

"What the hey! 7 goals only? What kind of game is this soccer? No commercial breaks except for 15 minutes at halftime, games that can end 0-0, and you're not allowed to fight the other player? Give me NBA and Ice Hockey anytime, man!"

Now that the US team is playing with the Big Boys, the rest of America may want to see what the fuss is all about, this game played by the rest of the world.

I won't hold my breath though. Unless FiFA decides that yes, World Cup players can henceforth don helmets and body armour, and can legally stop a striker from scoring by sending the whole team crashing into him.

Oh, and can sometimes use hands to score too. Like the French already do.

 

About mrbrown
mrbrown aka Mr Kin Mun LEE is the accidental author of the popular Singapore website, mrbrown.com, and has been documenting the dysfunctional side of Singapore life since 1997.

Affectionately known as the Blogfather of Singapore, his readers follow his writings closely, which these days range from current affairs, his family, and even his trips abroad.

Currently, mrbrown also hosts the mrbrown show (mrbrownshow.com), probably Singapore's best known comedy and satire podcast.

mrbrown is married to Ginny, his long-suffering wife for 12 years, and is father to three lovely kids, Faith,  Isaac and Joy.