The Age Of Adaline(2015)
- RatedPG /GenreDrama, Romance
I am thinking if a woman stops aging, it would be a really wonderful thing. Or am I the only one?
It would be infinitely better than Michael Jackson’s creepy oxygen bed or a lifetime’s free supply of SK-II, right?
At least not for Blake Lively in the movie 'The Age of Adaline'. Her character, Adaline Bowman, is born in 1908 in San Francisco and is still smokin’ hot as a 107-year-old.
At the age of 29, Adaline accidentally skidded her car one dark and stormy night right into an icy lake.
Somehow, the frigid waters, a bolt of lightning and the cosmic stars collude to freeze her cells and pretty face into remaining an everlasting pretty face the way Wolverine’s growl and sideburns were frozen forever, too.
Lively, as you know from TV’s ‘Gossip Girl’, cinema’s ‘Green Lantern’ and being Ryan Reynolds’ real-life wife, is a beautiful knockout.
This may be why this show is still quite tolerable despite Lively’s rendition of 'Immortal Beloved', rendering this flick quite, excuse the pun, positively un-lively.
Don’t get me wrong – it’s not her fault.
It’s the script instructing her to stay cold, elusive and so blankly secretive that she flees from people, particularly men, whenever they get too close to her and leaves them stranded in a lasting, puzzling hole.
The girl can’t commit to anybody and keeps running away to keep her agelessness a secret because she fears outliving the ones she loves. And besides, scientists might probe and dissect her like a Martian to uncover her incredible gift.
Or is it a curse since horny men through the ages wouldn’t leave her alone?
If this immortal thing was seen from a male perspective, we would be talking about 2,000-year-old Highlander dudes chopping heads off with swords from the misty mountains.
But eternity from a woman’s viewpoint, you see, needs to be sentimental and romantic about the pain of memories, sadness of loneliness, yearning for love, reality of loss, and a lookalike pet dog from the same family line dying right in front of her all the time.
I dig this detail very much because I’m always wondering if I’ll outlive my pet tortoise, which could hang around for the next 100 years.
By the way, Ellen Burstyn, 82, plays Adaline’s aged daughter here the way she played Matthew McConaughey’s aged daughter in ‘Interstellar’.
There’s a very funny joke here, but I refrain out of respect for every pioneer gen-ster who might be 50 years younger than me.
Harrison Ford (left) and Blake Lively (right) in 'The Age of Adaline'
Now, this picture is as beautifully filmed as its beautiful star, with flashbacks through the bygone decades of 1930s, 40s, etc, every scene centring around Lively sauntering through the years looking fashionably hubba-hubba in every era.
My favourite (I drooled) is when her hair is tied up in a classy blonde bun in a 1940s ballroom setting.
Directed by Lee Toland Krieger (who helmed the far better ‘Celeste And Jesse Forever’) – this movie is like some kind of yarn about long-living female romantic existentialism, but done superficially.
You know it’s a yarn because the unseen narrator here tells the story as though it’s an old-fashioned homespun tale, the sort where you hope he finishes yakking before you fall asleep.
And you almost do until Harrison Ford pops up one full hour into the film to thankfully wake everybody up.
He is the dad of the bearded rich guy Adaline falls heavily for, and let’s just say if you think your family has problems, try this one on for size.
Every time Ford's character neglects his own age-appropriate missus (Kathy Baker) to gaze in a smitten ache at Adaline, I giggle at the thought of those wonderfully sordid old-cow-new-grass tales in our Chinese tabloids.
There are many, many endless questions about the metaphysics of endlessness here, but somehow, it is the curse of the agelessly empty beautiful woman, which totally matters.
“Tell me something I can hold on to and never let go,” Adaline pleads lovingly.
Okay... how about a Highlander action doll?
‘The Age of Adaline’ is now showing