Movie Feature

The Green Lantern's 3 Degrees of Separation

By Tay Yek KeakMovies - 14 June 2011 4:00 PM | Updated 15 June 2011

The Green Lantern's 3 Degrees of Separation

Lanterns and the color green are buzzing on the silver screens now. We square off three flicks that are either have green or lanterns in them.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Green Lantern

 

Green Hornet

 

Raise The Red Lantern

 

 

 

 

Main Role

 

Conqueror

Green Lantern (Ryan Reynolds) is a conquering superhero.

 

 

Con man

Green Hornet (Seth Rogen) is a rich dude who pretends to be a hero.

 

Concubine

Main gal (Gong Li) is Mistress No. 3 of a wealthy old coot.

Mask or no mask?

 

Yes

 

Yes

 

No 

Unless you count Gong Li’s unmovable face as one.

Principal mode of transportation

 

Plane

Green Lantern’s real identity, Hal Jordan, is a US air force test pilot.

 

Car

Green Hornet sits in a big black car driven by his chauffeur-sidekick Kato (Jay Chou).

 

 

Sedan Chair

Film is set in 1920s China when servants carried their masters around

Asian person in movie

 

Nada

 

Jay Chou

 

Entire movie is set in China … duh


Got ring?

 

Yes

An alien power ring given to Green Lantern

 

No

No gay thing going on in this bromance

 

Are you crazy?No way, dude!

Which idiot would give his mistress a ring that his missus might find out about?

 

Got lantern?

 

Yes

The ring is charged by a special lantern like an iPhone.

 

No

Although Green Hornet looks like an intern next to Kato’s super gongfu.

 

Totally

 The concubine whom the master wants to *wink wink* bed for the night gets her lanterns lit.

 

Got clown?

 

Yes

Ryan Reynolds started out as a comedian.

 

Yes

Seth Rogen is still a comedian.

 

You kidding?Yes!

Man, have you seen director Zhang Yimou’s Curse Of The  Golden Flower (2006) with Gong Li’s heaving boobs and Jay Chou’s crap acting? Damn funny!

 

Power level

 

Green Lantern fights crime in the universe 

 

Green Hornet fights crime in the city

 

Gong Li fights utter boredom in her bedroom


Hot item

 

A woman 

Blake Lively as Green Lantern’s smokin’ hot chick

 

A gun

Green Hornet’s cool  gas-pellet gun

 

A Woman, A Gun And A Noodle Shop

A movie Zhang made in 2009

 

Worst fear

 

Flying alone for thousands of light years

 

Driving alone for thousands of miles (without Kato the driver)

 

Riding Alone For Thousands Of Miles

Yep, another movie Zhang made in 2005

 

Makes you wanna go get a...


 

Lantern

 

China chauffeur

 

China mistress