On Valentine’s Day, you’re expected to buy your gal flowers, take her to dinner, take her to a movie, and maybe if you’re further along in your relationship, you will be expected to go down on your knee to propose either marriage or face a breakup.
Know what? That’s all totally lame. These days, we need to be different. Girls are looking for something more than just the sweet nothings whispered in their ears. They would probably refer to be checking their phones to see if you have sent some cute sticker from the Line app instead.
No, one must think differently, break out of the box and yearn to surprise by doing something memorable, not just some mushy Great Act of Love like having a love message flash across an advertisement screen in public. See, all the best ways to keep your loved one interested in you are chronicled in movies.
So we present some of the best ways to win a girl’s heart, taking our cue from the following shows. Just bear this in mind: Love is a risky venture. If you do not try, you may never know. And with these tips, you’ll definitely save on those useless flowers.
#1: Treat every day as a brand new day for love
'50 First Dates'
Drew Barrymore suffers from a strange kind of amnesia where she can’t seem to remember anything that happened from the day before. So Adam Sandler has to re-woo her every day as a total stranger. You know the saying – “Everyday’s a new day for love”? This one really takes the cake. But we guarantee that your gal would be seriously thrilled if you surprise her 24/7. Just make sure she doesn’t forget your name.
#2: Keep thinking of her even though she just can’t commit
Natalie Portman hooks up with Ashton Kutcher for casual sex but doesn’t want the boyfriend-girlfriend thing. She’s brainy and kinda crazy. But Kutcher can’t get her out of his mind. Guys, this really sounds like hitting the jackpot, right? But true love cannot survive without spending meaningful time together which, gasp, is not just about being naked all the time. Believe us. You’ll feel better the morning after.
#3: Pretend that you’re married to be more attractive
To impress a hot babe, Adam Sandler (again) pretends he’s married and hence, possesses adequate keeper instincts. We don’t understand this logic where a man is considered a catch if he’s fooling around, but in Hollywood, it’s a top draw. To ward off divorces, lawsuits, alimonies, suicides and expensive court hearings, we suggest you just flash a fake wedding ring. It’s safer.
#4: Take her up for a romantic airplane ride
'Out of Africa'
Robert Redford takes Meryl Streep up in the air in an old-style airplane across the African plain. With the cool wind blowing in her hair, her heart flutters because the scenery is beautiful and her companion, Golden Boy Rob, is even prettier. Okay, we can’t fly over Bukit Timah Hill without a permit, but if you want to get high with your honey, there’s always the Singapore Flyer.
#5: Love her forever even though she has an incurable disease
Anne Hathaway has early Parkinson’s disease which makes her limbs shake uncontrollably. Jake Gyllenhaal has reservations at first about changing his carefree lifestyle for her, but eventually realises that love gets going when the going gets tough. It’s very noble, you know – declaring your love even when things are falling apart and sinking around you. Just go watch 'Titanic'.
#6: Fight off scary monsters to protect her
Hey dudes, don’t just stare and look fierce when somebody bothers your girl at a Pasir Ris chalet. Put on an ape suit! King Kong fought not one, but three, jerks – very scary Tyrannosaurus Rexes – after they man-, er, dino-handled his blonde girlfriend. Man, the ape went bananas. Girls like this, you know, especially when guys dig deep into their don’t-mess-with-my-gal instincts.
#7: Show her you love her by switching teams
'The Object of My Affection'
Paul Rudd, a gay guy, is the best pal of Jennifer Aniston, a straight gal. She tells him everything, he supports her in everything… until he falls in love with her. Instead of males, he suddenly finds himself ogling the female specimen. Let me tell you this, fellas, if you’re a team-switcher like boy-girl-boy player Anne Heche, your woman will be very excited that she has converted you.
#8: Be unflinchingly faithful even though there’s another hottie heaving her bosom at you
'The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers'
Aragorn (Viggo Mortensen) stays true to elf beauty Arwen (Liv Tyler) even though Eowyn (Miranda Otto), the lovely princess, looks longingly into his eyes, saying telepathically, “Take me, take me now among the midgets”. Bros, if you can remain faithful while being in a sandwich situation, you deserve to be a king somewhere.
#9: Take her back even though she just pimped herself out for a million dollars
The deal is that babelicious Demi Moore sleeps with rich guy Robert Redford for one million because she and her hubby, Woody Harrelson, are broke. Yup, she does it, trouble ensues, but in the end, her husband still takes her back even though she did the deed. This is forgiveness and true love or what, stupid as it may seem. Yes, forgiveness is divine… and a million bucks sublime.
#10: Be very achingly moody and desirable every time you’re near her
Dreamy vampire Robert Pattinson looks into horny human Kristen Stewart’s eyes and some kind of lovesick voodoo magic occurs. Look, we’re Singaporeans. When we go on dates at the foodcourt, cinema or Sentosa, we mostly don’t have anything interesting to say. We’re masters of the "okay, lor". Learn from this movie, the Valentine’s Day art of gazing at each other blankly. You can thank us later.