Rating: 1 out of 5
The original 1981 Clash of The Titans was a fantastic but campy yarn about the adventures of Perseus, demigod son of Zeus. This retelling however, isn’t entirely faithful to its stop-motion fuelled ancestor nor is it faithful to the Greek myths of old.
I’ll admit to being a huge Greek myth nerd as nerds go, so yes, I was bothered by how fast and loose this version was with its source material’s narrative – but I can overlook that. Hollywood blockbusters are allowed a certain amount of literary licence after all.
What I can’t overlook is the slipshod plotting, purposeless 3-D effects, abhorrent characterisation and atrocious storytelling in general. This monstrous remake has many heels and all of them are ‘Achilles’ heels. I came in expecting an epic and what I got was an epic failure.
Stepping into Harry Hamlin’s sandals as Perseus is Sam Worthington, in his third turn as an action movie star (Terminator: Salvation, Avatar) within a year. Practice makes perfect (just ask Hugh Grant) and Worthington has this kind of role down to pat by now. His sneering intensity is the lone glimmer of inspiration within this film.
In a far less stellar replacement, this film is dogged by some of the most underwhelming 3-D effects I’ve ever seen. I’ll take Ray Harryhausen’s meticulously crafted stop-motion animation over this any day.
Look, if there’s no point to the 3-D effects, then don’t use them! I’m sick of blockbusters using 3-D as a gimmicky crutch. Much like how every action movie jumped on the bullet-time bandwagon post-Matrix, this absurd trend is getting annoying.
A Greek hero’s journey encompasses the building blocks to every heroic tale told ever since. It is something so fundamental and intrinsic in storytelling that you’d think it’d be impossible to screw up such a basic formula. Yet somehow this movie manages to make Perseus’ journey less enthralling than an episode of Kevin Sorbo’s Hercules.
A love angle between Andromeda (Gemma Arterton) and Perseus is also so haphazardly thrown in and underdeveloped that one wonders why Leterrier bothered including it in the first place.
In something bafflingly new to anyone who’s seen the original or even vaguely knows anything about Greek myth, this version introduces a new ally for Perseus: the desert-dwelling and Arabic-garbed Djinn, who ends up being Perseus’ suicide bomber. I kid you not. That is exactly how offensive and ludicrous this movie is.
The only joy I got from this movie was the fact that Kaya Scodelario and Nicholas Hoult played minor characters (Skins fans will know why) and gazing at the lovely Arterton every now and then.
Other than that, there is virtually nothing redeeming in this titanic disaster. It’s as if this movie stared into the eyes of Medusa herself and became a slab of awful lifelessness.
About Hidzir Junaini
Hidzir Junaini, aka inSing.com's Movie Lover, is 23-years-old and a wealthy playboy billionaire by day and a caped crusader by night. Only one of those is true. He’s actually a freelance writer, blogger, full-time film buff and some-time socially awkward nerd. He also writes about music, restaurants and nightlife for Metrowize Asia.
Hidzir is the winner of the inaugural inSing Movie Lover contest that garnered over 1,000 participants. The Movie Lover contest is a search for a candidate who possesses outstanding passion for movies and a talent for writing engaging movie reviews.