My friends are gloating over the fact that they have seen Ip Man 2, the sequel to the movie about kung fu master, Mr Ip Man (what do you call him? Mr Ip or Mr Man?).
I was busy watching Iron Man 2, the other sequel about a man in a metal suit.
In the first Ip Man, our hero, whom many know as the master who taught Bruce Lee, fought a Japanese opponent. This, of course, made the audiences in China thrilled because many are still angry at the Japanese for WWII.
In the sequel, Ip Man fights a Western boxer. I don't know what the Westerner did to make Ip Man and the Chinese population mad at him beyond being a white guy who can fight well, but it sure made the audience happy to root for our hero once again.
So Ip Man has fought a Japanese soldier in Part 1, an ang moh in Part 2 but who has he left to fight in Ip Man 3? An ang moh born in Japan? What other powers will score with a Chinese audience?
I suggest moving the Ip Man franchise into the crossover world. Just like we had Alien and Predator, then Alien vs Predator (AVP), we can do Iron Man vs Ip Man. Millionaire in Iron Suit fights Kung Fu Man with Iron Fists!
Audiences are already confused this week as they rush out to buy tickets for Iron Man 2 only to realise they just bought Ip Man 2 tickets, why not marry the two movies together for some fist-on-steel action?
Robert Downey Jr's Tony Stark can represent the imperialistic forces of America trampling on the rise of China, resisted by the Rocky Balboa of China, Donnie "Ip Man" Yen.
Then, in IM V IM 2 (Iron Man Vs Ip Man 2), the two heroes join forces to form the Avengers, headed up by Samuel "Nick Fury" Jackson with his badly-fitting eyepatch and his Chinese counterpart, Sammo Hung (Angry Chan?). Their common enemy will be North Korea's supervillain, Kim the Merciless (purely fictional, I assure you), who has created a giant robot of steel who knows kung fu.
IM V IM 2 will end with a theme song from pop group Wang Chun: "Everybody have fun tonight! Everybody Wing Chun tonight."
In truth, the boys in the office were somewhat disappointed with Iron Man 2. Sure there was action and a decent villain, but the movie suffered from an uneven plot and lame-ending-itis. Like the first movie, the final level boss fight was disappointing. The one part that really worked for me was the first encounter between Whiplash and Suitcase Mode Iron Man. The rest of the movie sagged for me, much like War Machine's 'Ex-Wife' missile.
Perhaps too much was being asked of this blockbuster, just like too much was asked of Tony Stark in the movie. Frankly, I think it is just as well Tony can make his own suits (and even a new element for the periodic table), in his own backyard. I think it would be unwise to outsource his Iron Man suit construction to, say, China.
Before you can say 'iPad clones', you will see a new shipment of Iron Man suits for sale in Sim Lim Square, in 29 colours. How would the Americans compete with a Chinese Iron Man army, upgraded with wifi, built-in TV tuner and two free third-party batteries?
Even Ip Man won't be able to help you then.
mrbrown aka Mr Kin Mun LEE is the accidental author of the popular Singapore website, mrbrown.com, and has been documenting the dysfunctional side of Singapore life since 1997.
Affectionately known as the Blogfather of Singapore, his readers follow his writings closely, which these days range from current affairs, his family, and even his trips abroad.
Currently, mrbrown also hosts the mrbrown show (mrbrownshow.com), probably Singapore's best known comedy and satire podcast.
mrbrown is married to Ginny, his long-suffering wife for 12 years, and is father to three lovely kids, Faith, Isaac and Joy.