Lanterns and the color green are buzzing on the silver screens now. We square off three flicks that are either have green or lanterns in them.
Raise The Red Lantern
Green Lantern (Ryan Reynolds) is a conquering superhero.
Green Hornet (Seth Rogen) is a rich dude who pretends to be a hero.
Main gal (Gong Li) is Mistress No. 3 of a wealthy old coot.
Mask or no mask?
Unless you count Gong Li’s unmovable face as one.
Principal mode of transportation
Green Lantern’s real identity, Hal Jordan, is a US air force test pilot.
Green Hornet sits in a big black car driven by his chauffeur-sidekick Kato (Jay Chou).
Film is set in 1920s China when servants carried their masters around
Asian person in movie
Entire movie is set in China … duh
An alien power ring given to Green Lantern
No gay thing going on in this bromance
Are you crazy?No way, dude!
Which idiot would give his mistress a ring that his missus might find out about?
The ring is charged by a special lantern like an iPhone.
Although Green Hornet looks like an intern next to Kato’s super gongfu.
The concubine whom the master wants to *wink wink* bed for the night gets her lanterns lit.
Ryan Reynolds started out as a comedian.
Seth Rogen is still a comedian.
Man, have you seen director Zhang Yimou’s Curse Of The Golden Flower (2006) with Gong Li’s heaving boobs and Jay Chou’s crap acting? Damn funny!
Green Lantern fights crime in the universe
Green Hornet fights crime in the city
Gong Li fights utter boredom in her bedroom
Blake Lively as Green Lantern’s smokin’ hot chick
Green Hornet’s cool gas-pellet gun
A Woman, A Gun And A Noodle Shop
A movie Zhang made in 2009
Flying alone for thousands of light years
Driving alone for thousands of miles (without Kato the driver)
Riding Alone For Thousands Of Miles
Yep, another movie Zhang made in 2005
Makes you wanna go get a...